打在你手, 痛在我心 I feel so pain though

I was so upset with Kelvin recently. I guess he's growing up and no longer mummy's boy, he has his own thinking though. I found it it's very hard to make him do something and i need to keep repeating myself for few times and sort of force him, then only he will do it.

Yesterday night, i was so mad at him and i told him i would like to introduce a new friend to him, "cane" and i will ask "cane" to make him remember my word. He told me he doesn't want, and he said will listen to me...then full stop.

Today, when i revised alphabet with him, he kept playing with me, refuse to hold his pencil properly. I spoke to him nicely for few times, asked him to hold the pencil nicely, but all these go to dead ears. after few attempts, fire is burning and i beat on his hand. He looked at me for few seconds and force himself to cry out. I can hardly see few drops of tears. When i see him crying, i am crying in my heart too. I feel so sad, upset for beating him, but i have no choice. Everyone tend to spoil him, and this little boy tend to live in his own fantasy world, everyone always praise him and when he does something wrong, everyone including me just talk to him nicely, no punishment, no scolding. But now, i think time to change.....all the while i kept telling myself, take it easy, he is yet to turn 4...but time flies, last month when i tell myself he is only 3 yrs and 6 mths boy, and this mth i tell myself he is only 3 yrs and 7 mths as compare to some of his friends who born in early of the yr, they are 4 yrs and x mths...but i know i can't escape from all these, need to face the truth, so i decided to be firm to him. Just hope that he wont hate me and understand my plight.

Sweetie, 打在你手, 痛在我心, but mummy has no choice........